Surviving the Empty-ish Nest

When my kids were little, the rules in our house were pretty lax. As long as they told the truth and were respectful, they knew they could get away with practically anything. They could count on me to stay out of their rooms and to stay calm if anything got broken or dirty. They even joked about it one time, questioning why nothing they could do or say would make me mad. That was true, for the most part, UNTIL...that fateful day when one of them complained that they were "bored." I must have gone into a blind rage because I don't remember which one said it, and I don't remember what I said or did in response. Whatever it was, it had an enormous impact as neither of them ever used the "B" word again. I'm not 100% sure what made me so mad about that word. I definitely thought it sounded bratty, but it was so much more than that. I mean, there was always something to do, right? There were books to be read, plays to be staged, and games to be invented...

Our beloved Buddy passed away earlier this week. I kept trying to write a post to memorialize him, but nothing I said seemed to do him justice. I typed and deleted and typed and deleted and just couldn't get it right. Those of you with pets understand; Buddy was so much more than a member of the family. He was calm and caring, never asked for anything, and gave us unconditional love and loyalty. He was the best and most comforting listener in the family, and he was always, always a very good boy. We held a beautiful service to celebrate Buddy's life, sharing our favorite memories, and laughing and crying as we relived the last nine years. One of the many, many things I will miss is having him with me in the kitchen as I cooked, quietly keeping me company (and eagerly cleaning up any morsels that "accidentally" fell on the floor). When I made my daily pb and j, Buddy was right by my side, never begging, but forever hopeful that I would slip him a spoonful. He love...

Stuck inside and starved for entertainment, I have been trading favorite Netflix binges even more than recipes. By now, I have identified which friends and family members have tastes most similar to mine, and I know to whom I should turn for recommendations on my go-to genres. Given all the seasons of "Shameless" and "Parks and Rec" I enjoyed watching with my son, I trusted him when he recommended "Schitt's Creek," but I wondered why I hadn't heard more about it. If you haven't watched it, "Schitt's Creek" is about a ridiculously wealthy and pretentious family that ends up penniless and living in a small town named Schitt's Creek. The writing is crisp and witty and the actors' chemistry and comedic timing were evident from the first episode. I immediately loved it, but my son kept telling me "Just wait; it gets better." I found that hard to believe because I was already laughing so hard at every episode.  ...

If you haven't seen the wildly-popular, inexplicably-addictive train wreck of "Tiger King," then the title of today's post won't mean anything to you. No worries, though; I promise this post won't be (solely) about Joe Exotic and the alternate universe of big cat roadside zoos and the bizarre people who operate them. What it will be is a (partial) explanation of why I haven't written in the past few days. See, while we found ourselves completely absorbed by bingeing Tiger King over the past few days, we were also dealing with animal issues of our own. Our little zoo consists of one wise and aging Golden Retriever, one goofy-but-really-should-be-out-of-the-puppy-phase Bernese Mountain Dog, and one needy/snooty Maine Coon Cat. Pre-COVID, our Golden got really sick, and we were scared we were going to lose him. Good news: he is doing better. Bad news: I spoiled him so much when he was ill that he now only wants to eat people food. This past week wa...

Did you see the widely-ridiculed Peloton ad that came out just before Christmas? Even if you didn't, you may have heard about it or seen a viral meme of the actress's face. In the commercial, a woman is gifted a Peloton (a pricey stationary bike) by her husband, and the initial look on her face is one of sheer terror (hence the viral meme). She then spends the rest of the commercial furiously cycling, alone in an empty house, talking only to her smartphone. At the end, you realize that she's been making a video of her yearly progress that she then presents to her husband the following Christmas. Among other things, the commercial was criticized as being sexist and the husband as controlling. What kind of man buys his wife exercise equipment as a "surprise"? And why would the wife seem so completely horrified at first and then so frantic and eager to please? No matter what you thought about it, Peloton's message was certainly confusing. At the time, I couldn...

My favorite part of my favorite holiday is when we go around the Thanksgiving dinner table sharing all the things for which we are grateful. By the end, we are sometimes crying, sometimes laughing, but always closer as a family. (And then we get to look forward to my second favorite part of the holiday -- the day-after leftover turkey sandwich). This past Thanksgiving was particularly meaningful and, at the end of the holiday weekend, my daughter and I vowed to continue the tradition throughout the year. As part of our morning rituals, we committed to journal at least three gratitudes every day. There were no rules -- the gratitudes could be big or small -- but we had to take a picture of our list and share it with each other. Every day. I never doubted my daughter's commitment -- meditation, yoga, and prayer were already a part of her daily routine, but I was scared I would let her down. I did not question that I was grateful every day, but I was skeptical about my ability ...

Quick-- what day of the week is it? You had to think a minute, right? I am fairly confident that it is Saturday, but quite honestly, I'm not 100% sure. I was trying to remember earlier today while staring blankly into the fridge, but just gave up when I realized that it didn't really matter. The daily schedule doesn't change on the weekends anymore. We move around in the same rooms, eat at the same table, and see the same five people every day. It sounds monotonous-- and it is, but I have come to (somewhat) appreciate the routine. And it makes the possibility of something new at mealtime even more exciting. Which brings me back to the fridge that I was staring into. As I took inventory of the current state of of our provisions, I noted that we were already getting low on the third jar of mayonnaise I've purchased since we've been sheltering in place. How is that even possible? It may seem like we've been holed up for months, but it's really only been l...

Today is April 2, and it seems like Groundhog's Day. Except that just can't be because my birthday is on actual Groundhog's Day and I don't feel like celebrating today. Or any day. Each day brings another slew of global bad news and another 24 hours of the same old routine. The only way to break up the monotony is to alter the times of day we eat and and the dog walk route we take. And the rooms to which we retreat trying to avoid each other.  Eat. Walk. Avoid. Repeat. Fortunately, I like to cook - and we all like to eat - so thinking about the next meal has become the most exciting part of my day. Ok, truth be told, the ONLY exciting part of my day. It is quite the adventure to figure out what to make with what was available when I went to the grocery store last week and what is still available in the house after 5 adults have already eaten a collective 105 meals from that grocery store haul. (Yes, my math is correct. Three meals a day for five adults for seven da...

Today is April 1, and nothing seems funny.  I don't feel like pranking or being pranked.  I am anxious and restless and too many thoughts and worries are competing for attention in my jumbled brain.   I would normally make a "to do" list to achieve some clarity and purpose, but, really, what is there "to do"?  With all these ideas - and all this found time - I have decided that today is the day to begin something new. So, here goes.  I have thought about starting a blog so many times I lost count.  When I first exited my law career to stay home to care for my children.  When I was later struggling with that decision and with finding an identity outside of the corporate world.  When my kids first left for college.  When the nest got really, really empty after college graduation.  And then, now.  When the world is upside down and the young adults are back home.  It seems like a good time to try to make sense out of a bad...